Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
