Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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