I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Did I show you my penis last night?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Found your dick twin last night
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
