I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
