I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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