I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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