just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
