Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
