I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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