can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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