im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
