Michael Bay diarrhea
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
