tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
