are you still at the devil's house?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So apparently I’m into choking now
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
