ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
