I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
