4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
