yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
