Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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