Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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