I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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