What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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