I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
