Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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