Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
