there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
