.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
