Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The Olympian is in my bed
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
