Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
