We won't sleep together?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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