You really coming over, don't trick.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
