It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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