I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
