Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
