I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
