Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
