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• (269): View more from Michigan

  just do him I won't tell jon

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.

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• (819): View more from Quebec

  We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best

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• (407): View more from Florida

  A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!

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• (718): View more from New York

  Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital

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• (512): View more from Texas

  BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!

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• (530): View more from California

  I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!

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