When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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