i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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