just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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