these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
