Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
