Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
