I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
