I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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