It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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