Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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