Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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