So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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