I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
