Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
