No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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